Chapter 5: Squats

September 18, 2022 🌸Mora🌸1 Comment

Lemon: Hold onto my clothes.

The next few days, An Youxi ran to Ran Ningmu’s military practice every day with the camera.

Based on the curious gazes of their classmates which were all following Ran Ningmu, the great masters should have all seen the first page where, for several days, there had been a red hot newly-married announcement…no, gossip post.

An Youxi had thick skin, unafraid of what others had to say, and, of course, he himself also had his own selfish motives, it’s just that he had no idea whether Ran Ningmu was happy or unhappy when seeing it….

Thinking that way, An Youxi went to ask the other party straightforwardly and directly.

“Does senior mind?” Unexpectedly, Ran Ningmu asked in turn after hearing An Youxi’s worry. “These rumours about your supposed love affair with me.”

‘Do you mind being entangled with me?’

“No, no, don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mind at all,” An Youxi shook his head like rattle drum, paused, threw a darting look at Ran Ningmu and, while picking at the hem of his shirt, said very carefully, “I was mainly afraid that you would mind….”

“I don’t mind!” he suddenly exclaimed, startling An Youxi.

Meeting An Youxi’s frightened clear eyes, like that of a small animal, Ran Ningmu gently drew in a breath, secretly warning himself to not frighten the other party, and spoke in a soft tone: “Strictly speaking, this is nevertheless me taking advantage of senior. Senior, just don’t be angry.”

“How could I….” ‘I can’t wait to be entangled with you ne, could you directly lock us together?’

If Ran Ningmu knew what the other side was thinking in his mind, then immediately without saying anything, he would have snatched the key from An Youxi’s hand and swallowed it!

However it’s a pity that, although the two of them were virgins, neither of them was 30 and thus didn’t have any mind-reading skills. [1]

An Youxi and Ran Ningmu looked at each other and smiled while simultaneously sighing emotionally in their hearts– ‘He really is a truly very gentle person ah.’

……

On the morning of the fourth day, An Youxi, who no longer had the camera as a cover, came over with his backpack on his back.

Ran Ningmu greeted him and, upon noticing that both of An Youxi’s hands were empty, asked: “Senior, you have finished taking photos?”

“Ah yes,” An Youxi held out an old and useless newspaper to spread out on the stone table and bench, and, while taking out a book from his backpack, casually explained, “Before, I was helping the University Newspaper Association take photos of the military training, now that the photos have all been taken, only returning the camera was left.”

Ran Ningmu pursed his lips when he what these words, and An Youxi wasn’t sure if he was deliberately deluding himself that the other party was willing to be entangled with him, but An Youxi couldn’t help but feel like Ran Ningmu’s voice was a bit downcast: “Then from now on I wouldn’t be able to see senior any more….”

‘What ah! Isn’t this acting too coquettishly? Is this how boys are appearing to be polite now!’ An Youxi screamed in his heart but his voice remained clear and pleasant [2]: “Unlikely ah, the little grove here is very nice and cool, in the future I intend to stay here to study, you, you would still be able to see me.”

Ran Ningmu: “So it’s like that ah, then would senior like to come with me to the canteen to have breakfast?”

‘En?’ An Youxi raised his head with a whoosh, eyes sparkling as they looked at him. ‘It turns out, there is such a good thing in the mortal world?’

Ran Ningmu coughed lightly: “My roommate and them got up relatively late and are unable to go to the canteen, it seems like senior is also by himself, so would you like to keep me company?”

“Want!” An Youxi nearly raised his legs, let alone his hand, in his hurry to agree and didn’t lose any time in following up, “Look, we will eat our breakfast together, but how about also eating lunch and dinner together ba, my roommates, they prefer to order takeaway and don’t like to eat in the canteen, I will also be alone for lunch and dinner.”

An Youxi, this clever little ghost, directly took hold of the words Ran Ningmu had used while persuading him to get ahead. After saying all that, he eagerly looked at Ran Ningmu. These eyes, which were full of hopeful anticipation, made Ran Ningmu momentarily doubt whether or not he was excessively self-aware. Otherwise why would he see himself so clearly in the other party’s eyes, so bright and shining, as if all he could see in that moment was himself…..

Okay ba, it must be him who was thinking too much, it’s obviously just that the other party’s eyes were beautiful, nothing more complex than that.

Ran Ningmu’s mind was full of ‘It turns out, there is such a good thing in the mortal world?’ and, in a way that was gentle and polite but not too humorous or lively, he agreed by forming an OK symbol with his hand.

An Youxi’s eyes turned into a gentle curve, and within his eyes, it seemed as if Ran Ningmu’s reflection also rippled: “Then it’s all settled la.”

……

They hadn’t even said a few words before the military instructor shouted the order to assemble so, even though Ran Ningmu was reluctant, he could only honestly and conscientiously rejoin the ranks.

The military training instructors were, for the most part, were seniors who had joined the army and came back to further their education so the difference in age between them and Ran Ningmu was only a couple of years. Boys at that age were all more or less rambunctious so usually, in addition to the formal training, the instructors would also take the student to play some more interesting games.

On days like today, where it was estimated that the rate of progress was very fast, the instructor proposed to play “Eagle VS Chickens” [3].

One instructor generally was responsible for two classes so the two classes would be automatically divided into two teams, with one student from each team taking on the role of “hen”, and then the two “hens” would start catching each other’s “chicks”. Since there was no “eagle” in this game, the instructors had renamed it as “Hen VS Chickens”. However, in private, the junior brothers and sisters preferred to call it “Vegetables and Chickens Pecking at Each Other” [4].

Ran Ningmu was the tallest in the class so he was offered up as a “hen” on the spot with most of the girls behind him only reaching up to his shoulders, it made him really stand out like a crane amongst chickens.

One class could have about 20 people, so the two classes together were nearly 50 people. 50 chickens were scurrying about, one had to only think to know how tragic the scene was. An Youxi was watching very happily and stealthily used his phone to take a lot of high quality photos.

In the end, Ran Ningmu’s class lost.

The main reason was that Ran Ningmu ran too quickly to the point of directly throwing away all the “chickens” behind him until he could only be grasped at the neck by the other side’s “hen”.

The military instructor smiled and said: “50 squats each for the losing team, can it be done ah?”

The boys all spoke at once:

“It’s out of the question for real men to say no!”

“Isn’t it only 50 squats? Laozi [5] can do 100 all while holding my girlfriend!”

“Fuck, this can also be shown off? How are we, single dogs, supposed to live?”

“Okay ah, since you guys want to carry people in your arms, I’ll give you a chance,” the instructor couldn’t disrespect the significance of the bustling scene, “Combined squats, those who want to squat – find somebody to embrace, those who are being embraced don’t need to do squats, you can all now start inviting the objects of your heart’s affection.”

After a small pause, he added another sentence: it’s not a requirement of it to be a man and woman ah.”

“Hahaha, how stimulating!”

“Baby [6]? Do you want gege to baby you?” [7]

“Scram ah! Are you sick hahaha!”

An Youxi was holding his tears to the point of suffocating, privately thinking that the military instructor is a wonderful person. Then, in the next second, he saw one of the girls walking towards Ran Ningmu.

An Youxi: Smile Instantly Vanishing.jpg

……

“Ran Ningmu.”

Ran Ningmu lowered his gaze, it was the girl he had helped out earlier. In that moment, the girl’s face was a pure red as she stood in front of him and bashfully called out his name.

“Ran Ningmu, have you found a partner yet ah? Would you like to join me?”

Although the girl was shy, she tilted her head and looked straight into Ran Ningmu’s eyes. Her bold behaviour, which was totally completely different from her appearance, caused Ran Ningmu to feel a bit surprised.

In his two seconds of daze, Ran Ningmu rapidly amassed a circle of melon eaters [8] around himself, causing him to suspect whether they had antennas on their head to receive gossip signals – at the first hint of a rumour, they came over to swarm him like moths.

“Ran Ningmu, don’t just keep rubbing, directly shoot [9], in the end are you a man or not ah?”

“Exactly, exactly, can’t you see that the other family’s sister is taking the initiative to invite you? Why not hurry up and answer la!”

‘Your mother [10], are these people so idle?’ Ran Ningmu pushed back his hair in irritation, his eyes drifting towards the person in front of him, and tsked. ‘Somewhat difficult ah.’

He looked at the girl: “I’m sorry, I….”

Ran Ningmu was going to organise his words to politely reject the other party when An Youxi unexpectedly appeared next to Ran Ningmu as if rising out of the ground, startling both Ran Ningmu and the girl.

“I’ll do it ba….” An Youxi stared at the girl’s silly expression and spoke looming [11].

“Oh, alright.” the girl looked at An Youxi, then at Ran Ningmu, nodded absent-mindedly, turned around and stiffly walked away.

“Fuck! The Empress is here!” a boy who had brainwashed by the forum post said with a shocked face.

Others also clamoured to discuss:

“What’s going on ah? Isn’t this An Youxi? What’s he doing here?”

“Can these two be real ba?”

……

“Senior? How come you are here?”

An Youxi was stunned for a moment, looked up to meet Ran Ningmu’s surprised eyes, and reacted, as if to an afterthought to what he had just done, his face turning completely red. “It looked like you had encountered a troublesome situation, so I came over to help you……”

The more he talked, the lower his voice got, and by the end his voice was as quiet as the buzzing of a mosquito, and couldn’t even produce any words.

‘Oh god, oh god, oh god….’ What the hell was he doing ah! ‘Why come, why come directly running to other people’s class ne?’

“Have you all found your partners? If you’ve found them, start counting ah!” the instructor, this wonderful person, who must have grown up eating love-filled Bugles [12], glanced at Ran Ningmu and An Youxi, and spoke with the calmness of the Heavens, “Requesting outside help is also fine.”

There was a sudden burst of laughter.

An Youxi had absolutely no face left to meet people so he covered his face only wanting to flee but before he could even think of taking a single step, his wrist was tightly grasped by Ran Ningmu. An Youxi didn’t know whether it was his illusion or not but he seemed to hear the girls screaming and the boys cursing “Fuck!”

“Senior, didn’t you come to help me?”

Ran Ningmu, this little Pomelo’s favourite type of heavenly vegetable [13], was not the slightest bit affected by sounds surrounding them, was watching An Youxi as if he were looking at an angel. This man, how kindhearted must he be, to bravely come forth in such a situation. Also senior he….turns out is paying at least a little bit of attention to him ba?

“You chased away my partner, shouldn’t you compensate me?”

An Youxi: ?!

‘This- this- this-, this man, in the end, can he speak or not ah! The teamwork partner is the teamwork partner, why are you saying it in such an ambiguous way!’

“How to compensate ah……,” An Youxi’s rapid heartbeat caused his voice to tremble. ‘Don’t tell me it’s necessary for me to compensate you!’

Ran Ningmu’s eyes, which were looking at An Youxi’s crimson ears, squinted slightly, and he spoke in a deep low voice: “Compensate me with yourself.”

An Youxi: …..

An Youxi felt like he was about to faint and pass away.

“Say yes to him!”

It was unknown exactly which idle fart of dage[14] suddenly howled out with his whole larynx.

In an instant, as if the melon field had been struck by sudden thunder, the melon onlookers raised their hands one after another and uniformly echoed:

“Say yes to him!”

Just as if they were shouting “Marry him”, “Marry him”, “Marry him”. [15]

‘Sick ba! All these people!’ Just when An Youxi was about to explode from shame, the military instructor suddenly shouted “Start”.

Now An Youxi suspected that this instructor not only grew up eating Bungles but he even lived in Mickey Mouse’s Fun House! [16]

“The sweat on my body…asking senior to please bear with this grievance.”

“Ah?”

An Youxi’s head was moved without a warning and suddenly, without any warning, two arms, wrapped up in a buttoned-up military training coat, lifted him up, making his body feel light and his field of vision rotate, as Ran Ningmu picked him up by the waist.

In a daze, An Youxi heard Ran Ningmu’s low voice ringing out above his head. The vibrations from Ran Ningmu’s chest wrapped around the skin of An Youxi’s arm, causing half of his body to soften and melt.

Ran Ningmu spoke: “Hold tightly onto my clothes.”

However, before the words left his mouth, An Youxi had already reflexively wrapped his arms around Ran Ningmu’s neck.

Whistles quickly erupted around them, kicking up a fuss.

Ran Ningmu raised his eyebrows in surprise.

An Youxi, whose hands had moved faster than his brain: “……”

‘Ah, this damned instinct of mine.’

The author has something to say:

Pomelo: Hold onto what clothes? We are seduced to go directly for the neck.

–

Melon eaters: Ehe, exciting, really nice!

Author trying to blend in: Say yes to him! Say yes to him!

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T/N: Sorry for the wait, I was busy changing homes. Also WordPress did some changes/updates because none of my footnotes work anymore so I’ve had to change tactics. TNs should work fine for this chapter but I will need time to update/fix the ones in previous chapters as the new method is a lot more clumsy and requires more work on my part

Translation Notes:

1) A superstition that if you are a virgin by the time you hit 30 then on your 30th birthday you will get the ability to read minds. (the Japanese BL Cherry Magic is based around that) back

2) 清凌凌 – lit. clear with light ripples back

3) 老鹰捉小鸡 – a game which requires at least 3 people to play. 1 is an eagle, one is a hen and the others are chickens. The chickens queue up and hold onto the hen while the eagle goes around in the circle to try and grab them while the hen turns around along with the eagle to try and protect the chickens. There are videos of it on YouTube in case the explanation is confusing. In this novel they will play it a bit differently. back

4) 老鹰捉小鸡 – a game which requires at least 3 people to play. 1 is an eagle, one is a hen and the others are chickens. The chickens queue up and hold onto the hen while the eagle goes around in the circle to try and grab them while the hen turns around along with the eagle to try and protect the chickens. There are videos of it on YouTube in case the explanation is confusing. In this novel they will play it a bit differently. back

5) Arrogant way of saying “I” back

6) 宝 – bao, lit. treasure, an affectionate term (pretty sure same bao as in baobei), here it is used jokingly so I’ve translated it but I might leave it as is in the feature. back

7) 宝 (treasure/darling) vs 抱 (embrace/hold) both pronounced bao (different tone) back

8) People who love gossip. Eating melons = partaking in gossip. back

9) 磨磨唧唧 – momojiji means to dilly-dally, take your time with nothing but mo can mean rub/grind and ji means to spurt/shoot and considering they are joking about him being a man (and knowing the author’s style) I assumed it was a dick joke. back

10) Implying “Fuck your mom”, very common insult. back

11) 幽幽 – faint, looming in the distance. Couldn’t find an English equivalent but it is used in situations where the character is feeling bitter or experiencing other unspeakable emotions. If you watch anime it’s basically that scene where their face is blank and you can hear the wind in the background I think. back

12) 吃妙脆角长大 where 妙脆角 is a type of hurricane/cone shaped crisp(?) that is called Bugles in english (??) After extensive research on baidu and bilibili (and annoying all my translator and chinese-speaking friends) I have concluded that it possibly means that the military instructor must have grown up in a wonderful way, had a wonderful life which allowed him to grow up boisterous in a way that enjoys life resulting in him being an interesting and romantic person (妙 as wordplay for 妙人 ) (The slogan ILY I Love You 我爱你 also appeared in a lot of the Bungles commercials I watched so that probably is part of the reason why) back

13) 天菜 – normally a type of celery but in slang it evolved to be used as a term for your right person, the person who completely meets your standards (in current club settings it can also apparently be used (derogatory) for one-night stand type girls and I think it can also be used for a type of gay body type (like how the West has bears, otters, twinks etc)) In this case I think An Youxi is jsut saying that Ran Ningmu hits all his favourite points (although he does want to sleep with him, there is no contempt or looking down in any case) although I suppose it is possible he is also using it as a body descriptor. Since i am not familiar with Chinese gay slang terms to that extent, please let me know if you know what type of body 天菜 might be referring to (or if it’s just my misconception) back

14) 大哥 – normally means eldest brother but here it is used mockingly so I’ve italicised it to keep the meaning back

15) Chinese has different “marry” words depending on whether somebody is marrying into a family (the wife marrying into the husband’s family) or the husband marrying a wife and bringing them to the family. Here the text uses the “marry” that is said of wives (AYX) marrying into their husband’s (RNM) family back

16) Oh boy this is like a triple layered meme. Okay so the Bungles as explained in [12] are written as 妙脆角 in Chinese and Mickey Mouse’s Fun House (a type of children’s show with Mickey Mouse and his friends and their house) is spelled in Chinese as 米奇妙妙屋 which uses the same character for ‘wonderful’ (the one in bold). There is also an advertisement on Bilibili when Bulbasaur from Pokemon, under Mickey’s encouragement, jumps up after a bag of pink Bungles. So basically here the Mickey Mouse Fun House is used as a hyperbolization of the idiom/slang that he grew up eating Bungles which was explained in [12] back

Chapter 4: Forum

August 5, 2022September 19, 2022 🌸Mora🌸4 Comments

Forum: When did these two get together?

After clicking into the forum topic, the content was indeed as festive as the colours in the title.

Main Building [1]: RT [2], in the 3rd Canteen at noon, the landlord ran into AYX and RNM having lunch and, not only that, the landlord was also fortunate enough to sit next to AYX.

An Youxi does not need me to introduce him ba, he has held the Yenching University school grass title for 3 consecutive years, the school brothers and sisters who don’t know him can go search up the old posts. As for RNM, he is the man who powerfully dominated AYX and became the newly appointed school grass.

Wow, these two handsome guys unexpectedly sat down next to the landlord and, initially, landowner was excited to death so that even the eating posture was adjusted to be much more reserved.

As a result, the landlord watched helplessly as RNM scooped endless amounts of rice from AYX’s plate onto his own.

At that time the landlord was like: ??? Originally, these two have such a good relationship?

But that’s okay, after all, dormmates sometimes share food with each other when they can’t finish it, however then it became more excessive ah.

Let’s not talk too much, go straight to the photos.

[Image 1] [Image 2] [Image 3] [Image 4]

Because RNM was sat opposite the landowner, it was easier to take a picture of him, and that’s why he is in every one.

As you can see that the hands and clothes are the same, you can make sure it’s the same person. The time on the pictures is also accurate to the second, to prove that the landowner didn’t fabricate it.

OK, here’s the keypoint. Let’s carefully look at these 3 pics!

Pic 1 shows RNM’s dozens of dishes, Pic 2 shows the dishes he and AYX picked for themselves, Pic 3 shows the dishes he and AYX mutually exchanged between themselves, Pic 4 is RNM helping AYX put the extra rice back onto his own plate……

Uh uh uh. [3]

The landlord just wants to ask: is this some new way of showing off your love? Loving you enough to give you all of the food on my plate and even help you share responsibility for any rice that you cannot eat???

Back to the title: I just want to ask when did these two school grasses get together? This kind of behaviour, no matter how you look at it, it’s completely abnormal ba! This isn’t an ability obtained in the couple of days since the term started? AYX put his hands onto him a bit too fast?? Can you or can you not leave a chance for the rest of us brothers and sisters to eat out with somebody???

1L: Front row, selling British Shorthair with golden gradient colouring [4]

2L: The degree specifications of the two of them are completely different ba! I too never expected they would fit together so well!

3L: Ah ah ah, hands hands hands, these hands! I licked them [5], licked them like crazy!

……

23L: Landlord, you posted this in such an open and straightforward manner, aren’t you afraid of being ridiculed and beaten up? (DogHead) [6]

32L Landlord replying to 23L: Hey don’t say it, I’m really not afraid!

Firstly: what I said is all facts, secondly: the canteen is a public space so this doesn’t count as invading anybody’s privacy, a lot of people have seen them! Lastly, these two have been straightforwardly indulging in each other’s beauty to the point they were unable to extricate themselves and basically anybody else! I guarantee that even if I continue sitting down next to them tonight, those two absolutely will not be able to recognise me!

……

45L: (RaisesHand) Me, me, me! I also saw them! I was standing in line at the window closest to the front door and these two were too conspicuous. The moment they came in, the atmosphere of the whole canteen went quiet in a second?! According to my observation, the two originally wanted to go to the Sichuan boiled fish stand but the queue was too long.

P.S.: The newly opened Sichuan boiled fish is truly like a needle that doesn’t poke [7], especially the signature Sichuan boiled fish, the suancai [8] in it are excellent, it really deserves having such a popular business.

……

67L: Laughing to death, I was on the self-service buffet side and, at that time, was standing behind them at the back and when the time came to swipe the card the two of them seemingly came to a disagreement because each of them wanted to pay for the other and as a result: guess what? AYX, he actually took out his water card! Hahahahahaha, the entire queue laughed themselves silly, how come I didn’t find that AYX was so cute before! So ultimately, the only option was for RNM to swipe the card (PutsHandDown)

P.S.: AYX’s ears were completely red! It’s true, it’s true, my language capabilities are malfunctioning, the Madam was too too too sexy [9]! En en en, as long as you all understand! Anyway, RNM stared at it for a long long time! Don’t mention what the situation is with AYX, RNM over here is definitely not normal!

……

‘This, this, this, what the hell is this ah!’ An Youxi smacked his phone down onto the table at once and buried his whole face in his hands. Ran Ningmu was staring at him and saw his….How is that possible ne?

His roommate came over to him like a thief gathering with his accomplices and shook his shoulder: “Pomelo, Pomelo! The post, have you finished reading it?”

“Not yet,” An Youxi exposed one eye, “You, what are you doing ah?”

The roommate rubbed his hands together. “Hey, hey, hey, it doesn’t matter, I just want to ask: In the end, what’s the situation with you and that Ran Ningmu ah?”

An Youxi sat up, his eyes flashing: “What do you mean what is the situation?”

The roommate got excited: “Didn’t the people inside the forum post suspect that you two are having an affair? You, the relevant party, quickly speak up: in the end, is there or is there not an affair between you ah?”

An Youxi picked at his fingers: “There isn’t ah, I just met him today for the first time, what kind of affair can there be ah.”

“What ah, I thought my family’s little cabbage had finally started wanting to be eaten by a pig ne……” [10]

However, the roommate hadn’t even had time to start feeling disappointed when he heard An Youxi muttering lightly: “I just want to have a little bit of something with him, but the household still has to be willing ba……”

“En? En, en, en???” The roommate stammered as he pounced on An Youxi. “What’s the situation, what’s the situation? You weren’t in the dorm this morning so anything could have happened!”

“Actually it’s nothing…..”

“Confess! Speak up, is there a situation or not!”

An Youxi’s face flushed slightly and he hung his head, fiddling with his cell phone, as he briefly recounted today’s scene: “……and that was it, as I said, it’s nothing yet you didn’t believe me.”

“Wow, you really don’t chirp but go straight for the sonata [11] ah ” The roommate tsked in amazement. “For three years of university, I haven’t seen you like anybody, now you have had one look and you’ve fallen in love at first sight, don’t say anything, it’s quite romantic!”

An Youxi didn’t say make a sound, his fingertips scrolling carelessly through the forum. With just a single glance, An Youxi finally knew why the forum post was so active.

After establishing that the two of them are indeed single and weren’t secretly together, unexpectedly the residents had begun to have a strange argument where they debated who, between him and Ran Ningmu, had taken a fancy to whom and just like that built up the building until it had hundreds of floors. Of course, it’s not just a simple debate, inside the post from time to time one could also spot rotten girls [12] and love obsessed fools [13] as they fished in troubled waters [14].

485L: Why must it be RNM who has started liking AYX first? I’m from the group next to RNM and today AYX was supposed to come over to take pictures of the military training ba but, in the end, he simply changed his focus to be on RNM only!

For! The! Whole! Morning!

Key point: he didn’t go anywhere, just orbited RNM the whole class! Let’s be reasonable, if it weren’t for watching RNM, who would be willing to bear a camera in such scorching heat to bask in the sun ah! You don’t need to continuously photosynthesize!!!

……

520L: You don’t need to continue arguing on behalf of the school grasses anymore la! Mutual unrequited love is not fragrant ma!!!

……

‘Wow who’s this ah, talk more since you are so capable.’ An Youxi was looking with great interest when Xia Qianqian’s message suddenly came through.

Xia Qianqian: Bao! Have you taken all the necessary pictures?

An Youxi: You wait a second, I’ll connect to the network and send it to you

Xia Qianqian: OK

Xia Qianqian: [SittingQuietlyToWait.jpg] [15]

An Youxi transferred all the photos from the camera to his phone before sending it to Xia Qianqian.

Two seconds later:

Xia Qianqian: ……

An Youxi: What, la?

Xia Qianqian: I said to use the camera as a cover and you literally used it for cover and nothing else? Look at the photos you shot yourself: except for Ran Ningmu is there anything else that’s noteworthy in the photos???

Xia Qianqian: Although he really is very handsome, I can’t have only his face all over the page ba?!

An Youxi (with a guilty conscience): I’m sorry la! In the afternoon, I will go again! o(*≧▽≦)ツ

Xia Qianqian: ……Do you think I can’t see that you are actually elated to death!

Xia Qianqian: Tsk tsk, look at your dazed man-obsessed appearance like some self-indulgent ruler, you don’t want your 19th consecutive school grass titles?

An Youxi: Want, what want! Want, what want! Giving it to him, Giving it to him! I’m giving him my life! As long as I get him!

Xia Qianqian: ……

Xia Qianqian: Okay ba, I understand, you don’t want to be the school grass, you just want to be the school grass’s man（。

An Youxi: Speaking nonsense, telling truth [16] (／≧ω＼)

Xia Qianqian: ……

Xia Qianqian: Forget it, forget it, the son is married; the water is spilled [17]. Anyway, I am not in a hurry here, you continue looking if you want to look ba

Xia Qianqian: 3 days, I give you at most 3 days! After 3 days, you must hand over the photos to me ah!

An Youxi: I know la~ Thank you Qianqian~

Xia Qianqian: [Old Father Waving at the Vicissitudes of Life.jpg]

After exiting the chat with Xia Qianqian, An Youxi set changed his screensaver to the first picture he had taken of Ran Ningmu that morning before opening Taobao to order a cute and simple mini Yuelao. [18]

The roommate saw his operation and almost spit the water out of his mouth: “……you, what are you doing ma?”

An Youxi were dusted with the gentle pink of a young maiden experiencing spring for the first time [19] in a display of shy coyness as he spoke: “I am inviting Yuelao ah, I hope Yuelao will bless me to realise my wish to come back and hold the beauty as soon as possible~”

He said he would offer incense to worship Yuelao and he would keep that promise!

The roommate stared at An Youxi’s payment page and thought that this Yuelao really was cheap: Nine yuan and another nine yuan as shipping fee.

He shook his head, looking pleased with himself, as he went back to his desk. Thinking back on what he had heard just now, all sorts of feelings welled up in his mind: “The son has grown up and wants to be fucked by his husband ah……”

……

Meanwhile in the male dorms across the hall:

Ran Ningmu rested his crossed legs on the table as he tilted on his chair and held his phone, typing impatiently.

Ran Ningmu: What’s wrong with you? You don’t have your own school forum? You have nothing to do so you run to our school forum to wander around or something?

Li Jingmo: Hahahahaha is it not right for me to worry about your one and only University Life Experience? The hand in the upper photo is precisely yours ba? I recognized it at a glance! So what the landlord is saying is all true? Come on, confess, is there a situation or not?

Ran Ningmu raised his eyebrows, recalled An Youxi’s crimson red ear and pressed his tongue on the pointy tip of his teeth before replying calmly.

Ran Ningmu: En

Li Jingmo: En? What do you mean ‘En’???

Ran Ningmu responded in a plain and domineering manner.

Ran Ningmu: It has precisely the ‘I like him’ meaning

Li Jingmo: ?! What the fuck? Really? You, this old dog, can unexpectedly also like somebody?? Not a skateboard, a motorcycle, guitar or drums but an actual real human being???

Li Jingmo: Not only that but….also a man?

Li Jingmo: Wow you really don’t get enlightened but go straight for the divine revelation ah![20]

Ran Ningmu: Tsk, who are you scolding ne?

In the distant Washington University [21], Li Jingmo looked up from his phone with a shocked face, repeatedly opening and closing his mouth, taking half a day to slowly pick it back up.

Li Jingmo: I see, it turns out that it is this son who has grown up and wants to fuck his husband ah….

Li Jingmo: [Old Father Weeps with Relief.jpg]

Ran Ningmu: Scram!

The author has something to say:

The shou’s roommate and the gong’s friend: My family’s child has grown up.

–

During a conversation with my gay friend, I said:

One particularly embarrassing thing: my gong’s name initials are RNM, which at first glance looks like ‘fuck your mother’ (rì nǐ mā) so when I first wrote this abbreviation in my story, I was worried that readers would laugh but unexpectedly, the real situation far exceeded my concern

First they had a good laugh in the comment section, then they stopped shouting “gong” or gong’s name in my comment section and just abbreviated RNM

As a result, my comment section is full of RNM/Fuck your mother

…

Me: The coquettish smile reveals a little bit of grievance 🙂

<– Previous

TOC

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T/N: Trying to speed these updates up so that I can potentially pick up an esports novel maybe

1) As said before in Chinese, forum posts are called buildings with the OP often called the Floor Owner/Building Owner/ Building Owner. In this case, Main Building just means the forum post that OP made. Further down the replies would be referred to as First Floor (1L), 2nd Floor (2L) etc back

2) Short for 如題, meaning “nothing else to say”, “as title says”. There isn’t a short equivalent in english (that I know) so I will be leaving it as RT back

3) 呃 – sound of affirmation/nodding/etc back

4) RAWs: 前排出售布偶英短金渐层 – Typing ‘front row’ is like typing in ‘First’ in the comment section. In chinese forum posts are often treated as the first replier sits on the sofa (thus the front row) then the following people take the ‘chair’ and everybody else sits on the floor/ground. British Shorthair is a type of cat breed (that’s supposedly rare?) but why that person wants to ‘sell some’ under the post I have no clue. Could be related to RNM’s hair (which I think is blond based on novel image??) but I am really not sure. Picture of the cat will be available below. back

5) Not literally, it’s just a way for a person to say that they really like something. back

6) An emoticon in CN platforms. It’s like a tone indicator like /j or the eyes emoji (Image available below) It can be used to denote that something is a joke and also that there is an ambiguous meaning. back

7) 针不戳 – slang meaning that something is really really good back

8) 酸菜 – traditional Chinese pickled Chinese cabbage or Chinese mustard, used for a variety of purposes. It has a refreshing sour flavour that really helps offset heavier flavour profiles. back

9) 太太太太那个了 – where 太 on its own means ‘too’ but 太太 means Madam/Wife (also a person who writes fanfiction or is just otherwise great, also 太 in novels is often used to refer to men lying down because 人 means human and the extra line is… well 😉 ) The RAWs don’t actually give a description they just say ‘too that’ but according to other translators it probably refers to somebody being too sexy back

10) My family’s [whatever] is just a way of expressing familiarity/closeness to something. Pig eating a cabbage is a way of saying that a man has found a person to marry/have marital relations with but in this case AYX’s roommate thought that An Youxi (the cabbage) had finally found a pig (a husband) back

11) 不鸣则已，一鸣惊人 which is a metaphor for making amazing achievements all of a sudden without outstanding performance. It comes from 《史记·滑稽列传》and the full saying roughly translates to “If this bird does not fly, it will already soar into the sky ; if it does not sing, it will become a blockbuster.” (aka immediate fame, not…. Not the modern day meaning, i just couldn’t find an equivalent orz) Here I replaced blockbuster for sonata because I thought it sounded nice and like it vaguely had a melodic feel. back

12) 腐女 – fujoshi, women who like BL back

13) 花痴 – people who are addicted to love and affection , and forget themselves and lose themselves. Often used to describe girls who fall for boys when they see them, drool when they see handsome guys, or scream involuntarily. The translation was given as ‘nymphomaniac’ but I felt it didn’t fit so I will just refer to them as love obsessed fools (affectionate). back

14) 浑水摸鱼 – acquire profit in time of trouble back

15) 乖巧坐等 – Another picture meme, example available below back

16) 瞎说什么大实话 – idiom meaning you tell the truth but it is the kind that others don’t mind. Can be considered a joke. back

17) 泼出去的儿子嫁出去的水 – a play on 嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水 (lit. married daughter, spilled water) which means that once a daughter has been married then it is like water has been spilt and (her) parents cannot intervene. back

18) 月老 aka ‘old man under the moon’ is a god of marriage and love in Chinese mythology back

19) 怀春 – begin to think of love, or become sexually awakened ; be in love back

20) 不开窍则已，一开窍惊人啊这是！based on the 不鸣则已，一鸣惊人 phrase from footnote 11 but with 开窍 meaning enlightenment (about love) so I just did my best. back

21) 华大 – I’m gonna be honest I have no idea what that is, I baidu’d and googled it in a bunch of different ways and the only one that made a lick of sense was the WashU which is apparently an acronym for Washington University? I don’t remember whether that character studies in the USA but let’s just assume he does for now and if later he ends up to have always been in China I’ll come back to change it to….something…. back

Images:

Chapter 3: Sharing a Meal

July 16, 2022August 5, 2022 🌸Mora🌸1 Comment

Pomelo: He really is an angel ba!

“Fall in!”

They had agreed to eat Sichuan boiled fish but when the two of them arrived to the 3rd canteen and saw that in front of the mouthwatering Sichuan boiled fish counter there was 10-20 metre S-shaped queue of military training troops, they resolutely turned around to leave, picked up a tray and honestly and sincerely left towards the buffet.

Unexpectedly, when the time came to swipe the card, the two of them unexpectedly came to a disagreement.

Ran Ningmu: “Let me swipe it ba, we agreed that I would invite senior for a meal. ”

At this time, An Youxi also remembered his tastes and plans and immediately caught the loophole in Ran Ningmu’s words. “Obviously it was me who accidentally hit you and originally it was supposed to be my meal so it should follow that I would treat you as a way to make an apology, moreover you also helped me, how can I let you pay ne? That should definitely be me!”

The canteen aunty: “Aiya these two youngsters are too polite, it doesn’t matter who pays, don’t let the students behind you wait so anxiously ha [1]”

An Youxi: “Alright, alright, I’m sorry aunty, I’ll pay it right away.”

Ran Ningmu’s card was left in his school bag, his school bag was left on his back so as a result Ran Ningmu carried the tray with one hand, the other hand touching the bag on his back so moving was very difficult.

Still, An Youxi was a step faster: he directly took out the card from his pocket and pressed it directly onto the card reader. He turned towards Ran Ningmu and smiled in an elegant manner. “You don’t need to look for it, I already helped you pay—”

The canteen aunty: “Ai, this classmate, why did you take out the water card ah [2]! Here we can’t do anything about accommodating people having a bath ah!”

Ah, the honest and trustworthy canteen aunty, her voice is in good health and is loud and clear. An Youxi, amidst the roaring laughter of his classmates, put the water card back in his pocket in a flurry. ‘Hateful!’ /////

“…… cough let me do it ba.” Ran Ningmu glanced at An Youxi’s bright red face. He first helped An Youxi pay then let him go to get some food.

“Thank you.” An Youxi buried his head, which was buzzing like a drone, into his hands before swiftly leaving the queue.

Canteen Aunty No.2 smilingly looked at An Youxi coming over then, with a single big hand [3] wave, dug out a big shovel of rice – a hot steaming pile of shining white resembling a hill- that she had to pat down in order to give it to An Youxi while saying: “Aiya isn’t it just the meal invitation nod succeeding? Worst comes to worst, please come back next time and, at that time, remember to come to aunty’s side for some support ha!”

An Youxi felt his hands sink, the tray suddenly resembling a plate of bricks….no, this can’t be blamed on the bricks, but the canteen aunty’s full love. He smiled with effort: “Thank you, aunty, I will regularly come back in the future.”

……

When Ran Ningmu finished paying for his own meal as well, he needed to find a place to sit down. Right now, it was precisely the peak time to have a meal at the canteen, shoulders and heels constantly rubbed against each other [4], reason dictates that seats should be very difficult to find, An Youxi couldn’t stand to make him go through such an experience. He locked onto the pair of boys who were eating their cooked rice the fastest then carried his tray, stood squarely behind them and locked eyes onto every bite of food going into their mouths. Those two boys were originally laughing and talking but An Youxi’s stare was like a thorn in their backs, so the people immediately stopped chatting, causing the heavens to fall silent [5],and the speed with which they ate their rice immediately doubled.

He was waiting for the pair of boys to pick up their empty trays so that as soon as their buttocks leave their seats, An Youxi would be standing ready make use of every bit of opportunity to take Ran Ningmu in hand and push him to go down [6], as for himself he would across Ran Ningmu and sit opposite him.

“……” The pair of boys stared dumbfounded at An Youxi’s back, seemingly not expecting this little fairy man, who was as beautiful as a flower, to behave in such a coquettish manner.

An Youxi noticed that Ran Ningmu was staring at him, and immediately felt somewhat embarrassed. “Actually, usually I’m not like this, it’s just that we are in the cafeteria now so….”

‘Help, usually grabbing seats is what I’m accustomed to but I forgot that Ran Ningmu is here……Will he think that I am actually a rude and unreasonable dictator who wasn’t raised properly?’

“I know,” Ran Ningmu smiled with gentle affection, “Otherwise I wouldn’t have found a seat were it not for senior I definitely would have had to eat while standing up. Senior is really smart, not only smart but also as a person he is also very good.”

An Youxi’s face turned red so he lowered his head and bit the tip of his chopsticks. “Not at all, not all, there’s no need to be so polite……”

‘You’re really a person of great talent ne, look at that little sweet mouth, just like an angel……’

The two boys’ faces changed as if something fermented had washed over them with it’s sour smoky odour, they actually encountered real life gays.

Next to An Youxi sat a senior sister who was eating Stewed Chicken Leg Rice. When she saw An Youxi and Ran Ningmu coming over, the speed with which the senior sister ate her meal very obviously slowed down and she started holding one chopstick in each hand and arduously cutting and chewing the chicken drumstick with great effort as if it were a Michelin [7] steak.

Through her modus operandi, An Youxi guessed that this little sister should be from the Institute of Biological Sciences.

‘So studious ah,’ he sighed emotionally, ‘The term has just started and she already remembers to practice dissection.’

At this time, Ran Ningmu noticed the weight on An Youxi’s plate and his eyes slightly widened. “Senior……can you eat all of this?”

An Youxi was digging through his rice looking for his vegetables like he was looking for treasure when he heard these words and immediately blurted out his thoughts. “Otherwise, you can help me share some?”

Ran Ningmu was obviously rendered absent-minded at once, causing An Youxi to immediately want to take his words back with regret. How can somebody invite their male god to eat the rice they couldn’t finish, what the hell was he thinking? Directly grab your pig brain to add to the rice leftovers and eat up well [8]!

“I’m sorry, I was just joking, let’s continue eating—”

“Okay ah,” Ran Ningmu had no objections and directly grabbed An Youxi’s plate with two hands and lifted it up before using his chopsticks to push some of An Youxi’s rice onto his own plate and raising his head to ask An Youxi. “Is this enough for you to eat? If not, I will return it to you.”

‘Angel, Ran Ningmu he really is an angel ba!’

An Youxi nearly burst into tears on the spot. “Enough, enough, thank you, thank you.”

“……” The school sister that sat next to them stared at the two of them, the chicken drumstick nearly dropping from her mouth and into her bowl.

An Youxi, who was devoted beyond compare, picked the plate back up and felt his eyes overflowing with tears as he looked at the plate where the Black Pepper Beef Fillet had finally emerged from the pile of rice and suddenly was hit with the bright idea to give the biggest piece to Ran Ningmu: “Although we didn’t have Sichuan boiled fish today, the 3rd canteen’s buffet is also particularly delicious, especially the black pepper beef fillet that is boiled in soup which is particularly dense and flavourful, it’s important that you try its taste!”

“Thanks,” after saying this, Ran Ningmu paused before he too lifted up his own plate, took out an enormous piece of his Snowflake chicken fillet [9] and put it on top of An Youxi’s rice. “This chicken fillet is also particularly delicious, you try it and see.”

An Youxi froze and hesitantly clasped a piece of boneless fried chicken with his chopsticks. “This fried chicken is also particularly delicious, I give it to you to try it.”

Ran Ningmu knitted his eyebrows and, unwilling to be outdone, clasped a crispy chicken nugget with his chopsticks. “This chicken nugget is also particularly delicious, I also give it to you to try it.”

An Youxi also knitted his eyebrows, stood up and, in a fierce and overbearing manner, clasped a piece of his Sweet and Sour Pork Ribs with his chopsticks. “These pork ribs are also just right! Quick, you try it!”

Ran Ningmu took a deep breath and directly used his spoon to scoop up some of his Steamed Egg [10] and said: “This steamed egg is also very good! Senior, it is important that you try it and see!”

An Youxi stared at him with wide eyes as he straightforwardly picked up his plate, poured some of his curry onto Ran Ningmu’s plate and gnashed his teeth in anger as he spoke word by word: “This curry is also super delicious! Xuedi [11], it is most certainly important that you try it and see ah!”

The two people engaged in a fierce battle of ‘You come to me, I go to you’ as chopsticks and plates danced in the air as if flying.

Five minutes later, An Youxi’s gaze settled on their two plates: except for the rice, the two plates had completely interchanged all the other dishes.

Ah the desire to win is so strange.

The scene was suddenly submerged into bewildering embarrassment.

An Youxi weakly spoke: “Otherwise….we swap the plates or change the dishes back?”

Ran Ningmu fell silent for two seconds before he nodded his head and didn’t forget to take care of An Youxi by putting the excess amount of rice onto his own plate in one swift motions as the plates were exchanged.

“…..” The drumsticks of the nearby senior sister fell into her plate, deeply wondering whether these two handsome guys had some serious illness.

……

Since the canteen aunty was too honest, the two of them, ultimately, ended up eating until they were full of food. After their meal, the two people, whose stomachs were so full it felt like food was all they could think about, swayed and wobbled their way back to the dorms.

It was only then that An Youxi realised – Ran Ningmu actually lived so close to him, just across the hall. Perhaps because the underclassman was out and about from dawn til dusk and his times didn’t match up to An Youxi’s, was the reason why, despite the fact that it had been several days since the start of the term, the two of them hadn’t encountered each other even once.

An Youxi naturally felt a bit upset – if he could have gotten out of bed earlier, maybe he would have become familiar with Ran Ningmu as far back as the beginning of the term ne. But after his upset passed, he more so felt secretly delighted.

‘One step closer to the male god, so happy [12]!’

Ran Ningmu stared at An Youxi’s face. “Senior, if there’s nothing else, then I’ll go back?”

Although he said that, his feet stayed welded to the ground and he didn’t move, no matter how one looked at it, nothing about his appearance suggested he wanted to go back at all.

“Wait a second, there is something else,” An Youxi stopped Ran Ningmu, who didn’t actually want to go at all, and his eyes nervously darted sideways for a moment. “You….Do you have any dinner plans?”

Ran Ningmu answered very quickly: “I do not!”

“That’s wonderful,” An Youxi breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Ran Ningmu, his beautiful peach-blossom eyes curving into crescents. “Let me treat you to dinner tonight ba, this time you definitely can’t snatch it from me.”

Ran Ningmu was momentarily shaken, the knot in his throat rolling suspiciously [13] , before laughing, “Then this time senior should remember to bring his meal card oh.”

When he said this, he lowered his head slightly so that his lips were right next to An Youxi’s ear. An Youxi even had the feeling that the slight air flowed warmly and gently entered his ear. The end tone was coquettishly raised giving off a teasing feeling.

‘Maybe, it’s my misconception ba. ’

“I know la,” An Youxi blushed lightly and gently pushed him, “You hurry back to rest, there’s more military training in the afternoon ne.”

‘He is such a pure person, was it possible for him to deliberately tease me in such a way ne? He must just want to remind me to remember to bring my meal card, nothing more.’

Ran Ningmu turned his head back as he walked: “Will you come back to continue taking photos in the afternoon?”

An Youxi: “I will, I will, you hurry and go back ba, we will see each other in the afternoon.”

Ran Ningmu: “See you in the afternoon.”

An Youxi smiled lightly as he stood on the landing, quietly watching Ran Ningmu’s figure slowly disappear into the opposite hallway three steps at a time only turning his head around when Ran Ningmu couldn’t be seen anymore. As soon as An Youxi turned around, he came face to face with five or six heads poking out of the dormitory building behind him.

Those heads met An Youxi’s eyes and, just like moles encountering a whacking hammer, shrank back with a swoosh.

An Youxi: “……”

What kind of ghost was this? [14]

An Youxi climbed up the stairs in a daze, he didn’t expect that as soon as he opened the door, his roommate would approach to point at him, overflowing with joy: “Hahahahaha, Pomelo, what the hell were you and that underclasman doing in the canteen ah? Do you actually intend to make me laugh to death to inherit my CET-6 [15] sample papers?”

An Youxi was rendered completely speechless.

“You hurry and take a look at the forum ba! The post has been on top of the homepage for half an hour!”

An Youxi hurriedly opened the forum.

Sure enough, it was as his roommate said – on top of the homepage, the names of him and Ran Ningmu shone brightly. Over a hundred floors [16] had already been discussed, red hot [17] as if people were getting married [18], it all looked very festive.

Title: At noon, I had the honour of eating at the same table as AYX and RNM in the 3rd canteen, and I just want to ask these two school grasses when did they get together? This is not possible after only 2-3 days of school term? AYX put his hands onto him a bit too fast ba?? Can you or can you not [19] leave a chance for the rest of us brothers and sisters to eat out ~~with~~ somebody [20] ???

The author has something to say:

Chicken Leg lady: Thank you for your hospitality, today’s chicken leg….no, chicken food….also no, chicken legs are really delicious ^_^

–

Joke of the Day: #PureRanNingmu

<– Previous

TOC

Next –>

T/N: This has been sitting completely tl-ed for the past couple of days orz. Was busy with real life so I am very late UwU

哈 – normally it would be laughing but in this case she is reprimanding them. back
A type of card that you use to pay for hot water or taking a bath(?) back
I don’t think her hand is actually big, it just means that she was incredibly generous and giving with the meal she scooped for him. back
Probably not literally, just means that it was super crowded. back
顿时话也不说了天也不聊了 – according to baidu, it is a way to say that the conversation is so dull, that it shuts up the sky and heavens so basically they fell silent very quickly and created an atmosphere where it’s not easy to speak. back
I’m pretty sure this was meant to be suggestive/innuendo-ish so I did my best QAQ back
Michelin stars are used to make the “quality” and “luxury” of restaurants. The more Michelin stars, the more expensive and “luxurious” the food and eating experience. back
把自己脑花也一起吃掉好: 脑花 is a dish of pig brains but i think in this case the sentence can also be interpreted to mix his own brain with his flowery thought (of love) to eat together. I went with the one I felt had a better feel in text. back
Based on the recipe: it is seasoned chicken fried with some cornflakes. I’ve had it before in my home country and it is very tasty with a mild flavour tho the recipe I found just now had more seasonings like white pepper, oyster sauce, egg whites and soy sauce. It’s probably called this because from afar the cornflakes make the chicken look like it has been covered into numerous snowflakes. Picture will be given below back
Apparently in China steamed egg (or egg custard?) can be either sweet or savoury so I am not sure which one Ran Ningmu has. Image available below. back
学弟 – previously i translated this as underclassman but it feels really weird for AYX to call RNM that to his face so I’ve left it in pinyin because I couldn’t come up with anything better. I will continue to use “underclassman” if characters are speaking this word casually rather than to somebody’s face. back
开心 – rejoice, happy, I think in this case it is meant to be taken in the way sometimes words like that are added into manga (and manhua/manhwa) to accentuate the feelings of the character back
非常可疑地滚 – can’t tell if author means Ran Ningmu is suspicious/doubtful that An Youxi will bring his card or whether the roll of the adam’s apple is suspicious/ambiguous in the horny way back
什么鬼 – has the meaning of ‘what the hell’ but is more of an expression of curiosity/bewilderment when somebody finds an event/occurrence inexplicable back
六级 – The College English Test examines the English proficiency of undergraduate and postgraduate students in China. CET-4 and CET-6 are the two options with CET-6 being the higher and more desirable one (tho it is not *officially* required, employers and other officials place a lot of importance on it) back
In chinese, posts are called buildings, the OP (original poster) is called a landlord (or building owner) and replies are called floors. back
Basically all the posts/replies are super popular. I’m not sure if they are actually red (like on some old school forums) or it’s just a figure of speech but in any case, their entire university is on fire with the popularity of the topic back
Red is a festive colour and very typical of wedding, ancient chinese wedding robes were also red. back
还能不能 – it’s also a song that seems to be about the push-and-pull feelings between the singer and her lover who had left her for somebody else and is trying to come back to her back
机/基会 Another translator helped with this. 机会 means like an opportunity (to meet) and 基会 means a meeting between (gays)friends. To keep the joke i made it dirtier (1. I wanted to keep it in line with the tone of the story and 2. I couldn’t think of anything else) where eat out with somebody obviously means to have a meal and eating out somebody means to go down/give head/perform oral. back

Food pictures (do not look if hungry):

Chapter 2: Invitation

June 15, 2022August 1, 2022 🌸Mora🌸2 Comments

Pomelo: So handsome, I’m gone

“Fall in!”

The sudden command interrupted the two people’s sensual scheming thoughts.

An Youxi came back to his senses, hid behind the wutong tree with red cheeks, covered his face and screamed silently.

‘Ah ah ah ah ah, so so so so handsome, I’m gone I’m gone I’m gone, ah ah ah……’

What is a little milk dog? A little milk dog is precisely this!

As for Atlas? He might as well be a ball! [1]

As everyone knows – Beauty and hard work go hand in hand, body and youthfulness meld together, the flesh is supple yet unyielding, cute and adorable but still handsome [2]! At this moment, An Youxi suddenly knew why the dinosaurs went extinct. Because their forelimbs were too short to applaud such beauty that is in the prime of its prosperity [3], so they were sad to death la!

What? You are asking about school grass An Youxi? What knickknack is he [4]? Can he be eaten?

‘The chief worker at the hardware store asked me how many pieces I consisted of, the fortune teller asked me what my 8 characters were, the postman asked me if I was a small package, the cleaning auntie asked me what kind of garbage I was, the DiDi [5] driver asked me if I knew what my exact location was.’ [6]

At this moment, the former school grass An Youxi just wanted to shout loudly— ‘I’m unworthy! I’m unworthy!’

Then he started to hand pick the flowers around to weave and entangle them in a dazzling flower wreath to personally put it on the new school grass – the handsome man with unknown name [7].Then he would lie shyly under him (?).

‘Calm down, calm down, there are still many people outside, watching. Please restrain yourself!!!’

An Youxi exerted his strength to give himself a hard slap to the face.

‘Come, do it with me!’

‘Deep breaths, deep breaths, take it in—and out—in—out—’ [8]

Two seconds later, An Youxi’s entire body collapsed to the ground and he squatted before slowly covering his face again.

‘I’m gone, ah ah ah ah ah!’

….

IN FRONT OF THE WUTONG TREE:

Ran Ningmu alone stood firm and steady in the middle of the now unstable social atmosphere, when he looked up, the thin figure had suddenly disappeared.

BEHIND THE WUTONG TREE:

An Youxi turned on the camera, staring at the freshly developed high-definition photo of the handsome guy in his hand and smiled.

The eyelashes, the nose, the Adam’s apple, there is also the legendary tough jawline that looks like it was cut with a knife and chiselled with an axe!

Help, how can someone in the world look so good to his G spot!

Every facial feature was sexy, even the fine hairs on the cheek leaked the strong scent of male hormones, especially the slightly parted glossy soft red lips which held a hint of confusion. The mellow and full lips were covered with a thin mist of sweat and faintly showed the neatly ordered pure white teeth that were just like little shells.

‘Good, it would be really good to kiss…. Control your thoughts, you slut!’

An Youxi patted his hot face, shook his fingertips and clicked on the link that Xia Qianqian had sent last night. What he saw was a full-body shot of a tall and straight build that perfectly showed the youthful, thin waist and long legs of the youth – smack.

Sure enough, the one that snatched away his school grass title was precisely the man in front of him – handsome enough to be compared to a great general! As expected of his future husband – he was truly fierce and amazing!

Yes, An Youxii had already determined that he fell in love with the boy at first sight. No hesitation, no coyness. He even went as far as to secretly cry out ‘husband’ in his heart, truly too shameless.

An Youxi took a photo with the camera and sent it to Xia Qianqian, then held the mobile phone with one hand to leaf through the rainbow farts [9] being blown in the forum and giggled from pride.

‘Ran Ningmu…. It turns out his name is Ran Ningmu ah.’

Even the name gave off the impression of that cute and refreshing type of milky yet heroic handsomeness [10]. It was honestly, too cute ba!

Obviously, An Youxi at this time has already fallen in love and cannot extricate himself from it. Not only was he unable to extricate herself, his head was unfortunately completely flooded with water [11]. Not only was his head completely flooded with water, the water was sour lemonade, the pH dropped to 2.5 [12] and the head had only 250 ml remaining. His whole head was completely filled with love [13].

Clearly, last night he was preparing to come over to observe the state of the enemy. Who knew that today, after seeing the real person, he would directly lie down and cry out ‘Husband’.

No matter who it was that saw such a scene, would be unable to restrain themselves from secretly sighing that the affairs of the world are inconstant ah.

Xia Qianqian: What the fuck! This face shot is too handsome ba?! As expected of the man that not even you can defeat! Simply the best!!!

An Youxi shyly covered his face and typed:

An Youxi: So true, so true ah~ As expected of the man who will come hold me down in the future~ His face value alone is holding me~ Such a big and hard fierce gong ne~ [14]” [15]

Xia Qianqian was shocked into absent-mindedness by the flavour coming from those tildes (~) and it took her two full seconds to recover.

Xia Qianqian: What do you mean? You can’t have experienced the moment of heartbeat and been moved ba???

An Youxi: doki doki~ [16] Moved ah, moved ah~ Now I can’t wait to move myself up and down ne~ (〃つωC)

Xia Qianqian: ?????

Ignoring the messy thoughts of the mind-blown Xia Qianqian, An Youxi picked up his camera and stood up.

The moment he stepped out from behind the tree he changed his demeanour a second time: he became a cool and haughty kaolin flower [17]. Fresh and beautiful eyebrows, eyes that were full of clear specks of light, fair skin that seemed as if it was covered with frost, greyish blue irises half-hidden by lush and thick eyelashes resembling fragile mountain crystals. Anyone who looked at him would be overcome by the feeling of “We, the Commoners” until they sighed from the emotional surges. [18]

It can be put simply in exactly two words: Top Quality

If one were to make an analogy with a collection of treasures, then An Youxi would be the kind that must be protected with an affixed dust-proof glass cover then locked into a safe – the kind that can’t be easily shown to strangers.

Of course, in that moment it was all an illusion – he was merely too nervous and had no idea what expression to make, nothing more than that.

Because his appearance was too cold, An Youxi’s expressionless face seemed much more alienated from that of ordinary people. On ordinary days, there was no shortage of people who were unfamiliar with his person and misunderstood his true character.

Heavens know that he was anything but as clear as ice and as pure as jade like a kaolin flower. He was merely a little pampered flower who was budding and ready to burst but not yet open. Nothing more. He was truly wronged.

The truly wronged An Youxi re-aimed the camera at Ran Ningmu’s handsome face that provoked the jealousy of the heavens and the grievances of men. The deepest parts of the little pomelo’s core were completely filled and stained with the pink bubbles of love and their wet squelching sound once again [19].

‘I need to chase him!’ An Youxi recalled the fleeting glimpse he had managed to catch, which was beautiful enough to shock the heavens and earth and cause the ghosts and gods to weep, and secretly came to a decision in his heart. ‘I have established that I must make him become the father of my future children!’

……

On the other side, Ran Ningmu, who had been peeping straight towards the direction where An Youxi disappeared, saw the little beauty suddenly reappear. He quickly retracted his gaze, puffed up his chest, sucked in his abdomen, and strived to become the freshest and tallest head of fragrant-flowered garlic in the garlic field.

‘He is so cute. His skin is so white, his hair looks so soft, the tip of his nose is adorably small and upturned, and his eyes are super beautiful and clear, like glass balls filled with water.’

‘I fell in love with him at first sight!’ Ran Ningmu relished in the aftertaste of the encounter just now. In any case, spilled water cannot be gathered up and he was deeply affected by his first encounter with true love from just a glance for the first time in ten thousand years, and his ears turned adorably red at the thought. ‘I have established that I must make him become my future wife!’

……

The morning military training passed quickly.

Of course, only An Youxi and Ran Ningmu – these two exotic flowers – felt it passed quickly, the others were eagerly looking forward to going to the canteen early to eat before returning to the dormitory to lie down and sleep like corpses.

A classmate came over to ask Ran Ningmu to eat together, but Ran Ningmu refused the other party’s invitation, staring as if he were in a trance at the faint outline of the figure’s white back in the crowd. He hadn’t even had the time to look at the other party some more yet it was time to part, the next encounter being who knows when….. Ran Ningmu blinked, took a deep breath, and walked towards the boy.

……

The dismissive command from the whistle reverberated in the air before the noisy crowd surged the entire ground like a green wave. The dense crowd rushed past his gaze and when he looked up again, the boy had already disappeared without a trace.

Unwilling to give up, An Youxi looked left and right across the field full of the glossy green heads of fragrant-flower garlic but was ultimately unable to find the handsome boy his heart was anxiously longing for. ‘In fact, it’s also okay to stay down here like this. Anyway I can still come over here in the afternoon to peep at him and sneakily take pictures, there’s no need to be impatient at least for a while….’

Thinking like that, An Youxi reluctantly put away the camera intending to go back to order some fried chicken takeaway and drink a cup of iced milk tea, to commemorate this memorable day.

However, the moment An Youxi turned around, he accidentally stepped on a plastic bottle that had been kicked and had fallen under his feet. The sudden loss of balance in his body startled An Youxi’s hearth and his flailing right hand seemed to slap against something soft, which he had previously photographed, producing a loud sound [20].

“Senior, be careful— wu.” [21]

A low and deep voice, sounding slightly eager, sounded from behind him. Immediately afterwards, a broad palm firmly pressed against An Youxi’s falling back, and exerted its strength to catch and push him upwards, steadily supporting An Youxi’s body until he regained his footing.

“…..” An Youxi was stunned by the sudden low-pitched sound, so when he regained his footing he abruptly came to a stop from his realisation and immediately turned his head with a swish.

Ran Ningmu covered his face, met An Youxi’s shocked eyes, and immediately smiled at him on reflex, revealing two pointed tiger teeth and sweet dimples.

“…..” An Youxi’s breathing stagnated. Not only were his eardrums rendered completely numb, but his heart also trembled. As a VA, An Youxi more or less had voicecon sickness [22]. However, even if he had heard countless voices, he had no choice but to to admit: Ran Ningmu’s voice would belong in the top even if one were to put it alongside the hundreds of voices in the network circle to compete for beauty. It was neither too deep and old-fashioned, nor magnetic and mechanical – no matter whether it was the timbre, tone or chest resonance, it was all just right. It was simply the exact sound of An Youxi’s deepest feeling and dreams!

Coincidentally, in addition to being a voicecon, An Youxi was also a dimplecon.

In just three seconds, An Youxi’s su [23] point and meng point were stabbed quickly, accurately and ruthlessly, to the point where his legs were not up to the task of holding him up and he nearly knelt down on the spot.

‘What kind of idol drama plot is this ah?’ How could their meeting happen so skillfully: in his hurry, he tripped and fell and is now being held by the other party until he was completely covered by him! ‘Yuelao [24], this is truly you Yuelao? Is this the red string [25] you bring to me? Yuelao, you just wait, when I return, I will give you [26], this elder, a supply of joss sticks and candles to hold!’

An Youxi: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I hit you just now, didn’t I? Are you in pain?”

Saying that, he wanted to stretch out his hand to help Ran Ningmu take a look. Of course, the real reason was that he wanted to take advantage of the situation to stroke him and grab a handful of him.

Ran Ningmu was in the process of picking up the bottle, when he heard the words and lifted his head. His wheat skin had a healthy flush and he wiped off the sweat that had previously covered his face. The whole face was clear and refreshing, let alone an injury, there wasn’t even a pimple.

An Youxi acted as if nothing had happened and restrainedly retracted his hand, but in his heart he secretly thought it was a pity.

Ran Ningmu: “I’m not in pain but what about you, senior, does your foot have any sprains?”

An Youxi waved his hands. “No, no, fortunately you held me, otherwise I would have caused a stampede.”

Ran Ningmu gave a low chuckle and carefully observed An Youxi’s back. “It’s okay, you’re fine.”

“This is so embarrassing….”

The two of them stood in the constant stream of people that stretched on for miles, looking at each other with deep affection, neither of them being able to resign themselves to depart.

Ran Ningmu and An Youxi: ‘Wow, this close he looks so much more lovely / handsome ne.’

After all, they couldn’t stay here forever. Soon, the stream of people got bigger and bigger and Ran Ningmu took the initiative to propose: “If senior truly feels apologetic, then the best thing for me to do is to ask senior to go to the canteen and have a meal with me ba.”

An Youxi: “Okay, okay, there’s a new restaurant in the 3rd canteen that serves Sichuan boiled fish [27], how about we go there now and try it ba!”

After speaking such a recklessly shameless sentence [28], An Youxi’s ability to react was delayed. Why was their conversation like this, it was strange ne? But none of that mattered. Because he was about to welcome his first meal with the male god la! Exciting o(≧v≦)o ~

The two of them hit it off and walked side by side amongst the green army of fragrant-flower garlics. When passing by the garbage can, Ran Ningmu threw the water bottle into the recyclable section.

Ran Ningmu coughed softly and said with a voice filled with righteous indignation. “Garbage should be earnestly thrown and kept in the bin, those people who litter truly have no regard for public welfare.”

An Youxi nodded dazedly. “Exactly, exactly, truly exceptionally no regard for public welfare.”

Ran Ningmu: “Exactly, exactly, these kinds of people really should be thrown in the bin along with the garbage.”

An Youxi: “Exactly, exactly…….”

Actually he truly wasn’t listening to anything Ran Ningmu was saying, in any case, Ran Ningmu’s words were all correct.

Ran Ningmu secretly glanced at this person whom he was the closest to [29], thinking to himself: ‘Originally, I thought that getting close would be impossible but, unexpectedly, it was extremely smooth sailing ne. It’s just that I he is a little dim and after we just laughed casually a couple of times, senior just followed me for a walk. What if he was cheated by other strange underclassmen brothers, what would be done then?’

While Ran Ningmu was retracting his gaze, An Youxi equally secretly glanced at Ran Ningmu, thinking to himself: ‘Sure enough, his milky meng appearance reflects that he is so gentle and kindhearted. It’s just that his vigilance is too poor. How can he carelessly follow a senior brother, whom he just met for the first time, out for a meal ne? What if other people also craved his body, what would be done then?’

Ran Ningmu and An Youxi: Really Makes One Worry.jpg

The footsteps drifted away.

….

AFTER THE TWO OF THEM LEFT:

Thinking that his water had been stolen, the wretched and obscene guy from before had bought another bottle and, after drinking it to the last drop, threw it away. But in the garbage bin he caught sight of his own original water bottle which had already been thrown away.

“……”

Fuck your mother.

The author has something to say:

Pomelo: He’s so easy to cheat

Lemon: He’s so easy to cheat

<– Previous

TOC

Next –>

T/N: Sorry for delays, this was meant to take way less time but my whole body has been in massive amounts of pain. Anyway, please enjoy these two clowns who have founded circus and clownery as art forms. 90% of what they say and think about each other is so full of innuendos, I really want to cry from the shamelessness and from having to think of innuendos in English

算个球 – like a ball, to be kicked and hit. Basically he means Atlas can be dropped and disentangled from with no restraint.back
Another translator helped with the raws: 正所谓——美貌与汗水齐飞，肉体共青春一色，柔软与刚毅并存，奶萌而不失帅气！back
盛世美颜 – refers to someone who has a very high appearance and is very dazzling at the same time. It also has the meaning of referring to the peak period of appearance. Somebody who is beautiful to the extreme. back
RAWs use 东东 which is a cute way to say “something” or “stuff” so I changed it to knickknack because i think knickknack are generally considered cute things that may not be necessarily useful. back
Basically taxis. Closest western equivalent is Uber. back
An elaborate form of a Chinese meme about the question asked by the aunties who sort garbage in Shanghai when you are throwing out garbage. Now it is used to ridicule that garbage sorting is difficult, and one feels powerless and helpless, it is obviously garbage”; Appeared after July 1, 2019 when Shanghai implemented the strictest garbage classification system. Since it is difficult to classify garbage by yourself, and mistakes in classification may even be punished, the aunt at the garbage collection point will responsibly ask a question “What kind of rubbish are you (this)?”; but everyone also felt that this was a pun, like torturing themselves if they were rubbish? It made them feel very distressed, and the Shanghai aunt who asked this sentence was also dubbed by netizens as one of the top five ruthless people in society alongside fortune tellers, doctors back
I asked multiple other translators about this and nobody could come up with wtf An Youxi was talking about here so I did my best to make it work with the previously established idiom and An Youxi’s personality. RAWs: 然后绕着眼花缭乱的手花摘下头顶blingbling的校草桂冠，为新任校草暂不知名美男子亲手戴上。back
RAWs actually say 吸气——呼气——吸气——呼—— (lit. breath in, breath out, breath in, out) but the 吸 means also to ‘suck in’ while ‘呼’ can also mean to cry out back
Brainless praising of somebody back
连名字都透露着一股萌哒哒的清新奶帅气息。Another translator helped with the full meaning. 奶 here refers to the same type of qualities as ‘little milk dog’ and 帅 refers to the heroic handsomeness which is often used to describe Ran Ningmu and which I have been consistently referring or referencing as heroic or military general like. back
脑袋还不幸进了水, crazy, out of their mind, filled with crazy thoughts. back
pH determines whether a liquid is alkaline, acidic or neutral. Neutral (like drinkable water) is around 7 (6.5-8.5) the more acidic the liquid – the lower the pH, the more alkaline – the higher the pH back
整个一活脱脱的恋爱脑 where 活脱脱 means ‘completely similar’ and ‘恋爱脑’ (lit. love brain) refers to somebody who is completely preoccupied with thoughts of and about love. back
呢 – what about you (in this case it probably asks for agreement like “what about your opinion” back
简直大猛攻呢~ this could be translated in two ways imo and I went with the thirstier option given An Youxi’s personality. 简直 as a combination can mean ‘simply/truly’ but I treated them as separate meaning to add innuendo to MC’s message. back
Heartbeat onomatopoeia from Japanese manga (and anime). (it was written that way in the raws) back
高岭之花 – a flower that can only be admired and observed but not touched or approached back
都会情不自禁地生出“我等平民”的感慨. My impression is that “We, the Commoners” gives the feeling of the person you are looking at being outstanding like an immortal especially when compared to the observers which are like commoners in front of royalty. back
内心的小柚子再次噗嗤噗嗤冒起粉红泡泡。Where 内心 means the innermost core of something and 噗嗤噗嗤 is commonly used in smut as onomatopoeia for splashing liquid (especially ejaculation/ lube prep) The pink bubbles of love are the typical pink bubbles representing love/a crush in anime. back
挥舞的右手似乎从什么柔软的事物上拍了过去，发出啪一声脆响 I have no idea whether the sound was a slap or a click of the camera because of the sentence structure so im making it deliberately ambiguous. back
Crying/yelping sound. back
Not an actual illness, it just means that his mind and heart lose rational thought when he hears a voice he likes. back
The su from Mary Sue. Something that is cool, awesome, amazing, charming etc. In this case AYX liked RNM’s smile so much, he felt it was cool and awesome and amazing and really pleasing to his su point. Aka he feels charmed and seduced basically back
Old man on the moon, responsible for marriages and love back
Red string of fate binds people to their soulmate. back
Respectable you (I will continue to use the same formatting for respectable you throughout the tl) back
Slices of fish in hot oil (picture available below) back
急吼吼 – In Shanghai gossip, ji hou hou means that in order to do one thing, the person concerned behaves out of bounds and behaves recklessly, completely disregarding the feelings of others back
He uses 身边人 (lit. person at one’s side but can also mean ‘concubine’) back

水煮鱼 (commonly translated as Sichuan Boiled Fish)

Chapter 1: Heartbeat

May 12, 2022June 15, 2022 🌸Mora🌸4 Comments

Lemon: Cute, I really want to do him.

Sour Essence A: I heard that Atlas will unfriend Pomelo

Sour Essence B: Is that true? Didn’t they win the voice over competition together not that long ago? I thought they had a good relationship but, unexpectedly… ai [1]

Sour Essence A: No other way. Men ma [2], they all like the good looking ones. Atlas[9] choosing Xiao Qiao[10] is understandable. I just pity our Pomelo, ai!

Toast, who was lurking[11] in the group, was angered half to death and immediately took a screenshot to send to Pomelo.

Toast: These two sour essences are so- …[12]Is the community comprised of just those two?

An Youxi didn’t care too much about those two people’s words. In the past 8 year, there has never been any photograph of him, nor has he participated in any of the community activities either online or offline, but one day, who knows when, a rumour about him being ugly appeared. When he was still in highschool, in order to protect privacy, posting his picture was impossible, and after he went to university, so much time had passed that he didn’t bother to explain.

In the last few years, online voice acting has become incredibly popular and many interesting Voice Over software appeared on the Internet. Out of all of them, the “Meng[14] Voicecon”[15] app became the most popular. An Youxi, a veteran VA[13] of 8 years, signed up for Meng Voicecon along with the rest of the community.

One of Meng Voicecon’s features was that users could choose to befriend and form CPs with other users, similar to how online marriages work in online games. However, unlike online games where marriage was only allowed between men and women, the app allowed being gay and didn’t limit by gender, which makes it convenient for many people to attract fans by selling rot.[16]

Speaking of which, he and Atlas also seemed to have a lot of CP fans?

Had it not been for the voice over competition the website held some time ago where only CP pairs could participate, An Youxi would have never bound his account to a stranger on the internet. This kind of thing was too ambiguous, it was completely impossible.

Sour Essence A: Whether it is true or false, why not just ask the concerned party directly? @Atlas I heard that you plan on forming a new CP soon, is it true?

Atlas: It’s true. Since we’re on topic, let’s just directly resolve it.

Atlas: @Pomelo, you said it yourself: After the contest, if we can get along – great, if not – oh well[17]. If you agree, we can quietly have a good relationship beginning and a good breakup. Otherwise too much noise would make both our faces look too unsightly. I’m being considerate of you as well so I hope you aren’t too entangled. This way is good for both of us.

An Youxi: “….” Eating your own melon results in suddenly being dragged out? Can that even be okay?

What sort of a top tier confidently average[18] man is speaking right now, ah! [3] The last time I was so speechless, was last time! [19]

Pomelo: [Can your plays be as small as your pp.jpg] [20]

Atlas: pp? Are you implicating me? If you don’t want to break up then just say that, why yinyang[21] me like this? Want money? Or else, what do you want? Except with myself, I can satisfy you with everything else.

Fuck! This man is really sick!

An Youxi was so disgusted he nearly suffocated and immediately went to Meng Voicecon to sever the CP relationship. It’s unknown if Atlas was waiting in the background for the CP dissolution but, in the next moment, An Youxi received the system message notifying him that Atlas had established a new CP in the next second.

An Youxi: “….”

What the hell, he despised him that much?

It’s not enough to just die, Atlas once again urged him to forward the Weibo post into the group.

An Youxi rolled his eyes and opened Weibo to have a look. Sure enough, the “breakup” announcement had already been posted by Atlas.

Without even looking, he forwarded it directly and was then immediately bombarded by messages from Toast.

Toast: The development speed of this trash plot dazzles the eyes and entangles the flowers[22]. It’s only been a few days since you two got together and now you are breaking up?

Pomelo: Pay attention to your wording, I only have a simple cooperative relationship with him. What congratulations, what applause, just break up again and again![23]

Toast: What?! You two are simply cooperating? I always thought you two were together ah!

Pomelo: …

Pomelo: Don’t disgust me, thank you. Moreover, hurry up and tell me everything you know.

Toast: In fact, it’s nothing complicated. It’s just that Atlas has been chasing you for a long time, it can’t be that you didn’t know? Some time ago you two formed a CP, we all thought you two had developed fully but it turns out that’s not the case ???

Pomelo: It’s not !!!

An Youxi recalled that some time ago, when Atlas was originally talking to him in a very oily[24] way….was he chasing him?

It’s that terrifying ?!

Toast: What the hell! You, the concerned party, unexpectedly don’t even know? Atlas, for so many days, has been chasing total air? Hahahahaha

Pomelo: [wiping sweat] [wiping sweat] Please, let it go. It simply sounds like a ghost story.

Toast: But seriously, Atlas really is very handsome ei [4]. Do you want to see his photo? The true little milk dog[25] type oh~ [5]

An Youxi’s second refusal: No, thank you.

Such an oily little milk dog, I really don’t want it = =

Toast: By the way, a few days ago Atlas was asking to see your photos. You yourself know that we haven’t seen what you look like for so many years, how can there be any photos? So Atlas might have some bad guesses. It just so happens that the newcomer named Xiao Qiao is being promoted by Meng Voicecon, has attracted a lot of face powder. They probably found each other to their liking ba [6]

An Youxi understood. This one has turned out to be rejected by the ugly.

From senior kindergarten to now, An Youxi has won 18 consecutive school grass[26] titles and, so, has never been disliked for his appearance. Well, it’s quite tricky.

After exiting the chat with Toast, An Youxi replied one by one to all enquiries of various friends, emphasising he had nothing to do with Atlas. No matter how clearly he explained it to his good friends, netizens did not believe it at all. Even the Weibo he had forwarded without a word, had been taken as perfect proof that he was “heartbroken”

[Taro Ball Bubble Tea] Pomelo is really disliked ba, the competition just ended and he has already been unfriended. It’s so pitiful to see, I can’t even speak a word.

[Deep Neon][27] Can’t be helped. Atlas is the Tall Rich Handsome type ah! Just looking at the face, you can tell Xiao Qiao is a much better match. After all Pomelo…. But the tacit understanding of the circle is to only look at the voice, not the face

[Butterfly of Wuhu] I heard Atlas has just turned 18 this year and has been accepted into one of the top 2 universities. Pomelo has been in the circle for 8 years so he should be in his 20s. The steadiness and comfortability of a younger gong[28] and such a high quality little milk dog at that, Pomelo must feel reluctant to miss it ba.

An Youxi patiently explained with a few words but the fans only regard it as him comforting himself…It even got to the point where Atlas himself ran over to to the forwarded Weibo post to say some specious words: I never thought that you would actually treat me so…. ai, don’t say it, the affairs of the world are inconstant[29], ai…..

Seeing this, An Youxi really itched to rush into the phone and immediately fight Atlas!

Just then, the president of the photography club[30] suddenly sent a message.

Xia Qianqian: Bao[31]! Your school grass title of 18 consecutive years has been stolen this year by another man!

What?!

An Youxi instantly set up from dying sickness[32]. Atlas who? All thoughts of him immediately flew away with the wind.

Xia Qianqian: This year, the management department has a new super handsome student! Photos and videos of him are all over the Forums, WeChat Moments and the Confession Board, all the senior sisters and brothers have nearly rolled away with their marbles[33]! The news went outside the circle and now exists on Baidu.

An Youxi: Is it so exaggerated = =

Moreover, the senior sisters are one thing, why are the senior brothers coming to join in on the fun ah!

Xia Qianqian: Aiya [7] you don’t visit the forum so of course you don’t know how popular he is!

Xia Qianqian: Although you both look good, you are very different types of good-looking! You are a proud little beauty with well-defined features, while the other party is like a handsome cheerful and sunny scholar full of the handsomeness of a heroic spirit![34]

Xia Qianqian: Nothing much to say, I’ll let you see it for yourself and you’ll know la！[8]

Xia Qianqian: [Link to Forum]

Xia Qianqian: [Link to QQ Space Dynamics][35]

Xia Qianqian: [Link to Baidu Share]

An Youxi’s fingertips hovered over the link and circled it a couple of times before he retracted them.

An Youxi: No, I won’t look

He ran his tongue over his teeth and typed.

An Youxi: I have decided to meet this man who ended my 18 year school grass career tomorrow, in person.

Xia Qianqian: Aiya it just so happens that our department is planning to handle the military training for the freshmen. Shibao Newspaper didn’t take photos so how about you take some for me tomorrow ba!

An Youxi: …..using tricks like these, are you acting pretending to be a gangster ba![36]

Xia Qianqian: Hahaha if you can see through it then don’t expose it, just say whether you can do it or not ba!

An Youxi was about to answer with a “No” but then considered Xia Qianqian’s message—— With the camera acting as cover, peeping at the xiao gege[37] would be much more convenient oh~

An Youxi silently deleted his message and retyped his response.

An Youxi: Deal!

….

THE NEXT DAY

FRESHMAN MILITARY TRAINING, UNDER THE SCORCHING SUN

Recently it had been dry and windless, the sun was scorching hot as it came down onto them to burn the ground, powerful enough to decimate people’s military formations[38]. Even their heads seemed to be smoking.

When the “Rest” command was heard, the sudden wailing of ghosts and wolves appeared all around.

Ran Ningmu panted heavily, unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and took a few sips, making his Adam’s apple roll, before picking up his sweat-drenched collar and fanning. Sweat slid down his neck along the smooth jaw line and into his clavicle, as the sunlight shined onto his raised arm, causing several smooth lines to bulge out on the muscles there.

Every move is filled with the youthful spirit of a youth at the beginning of the academic year.

A classmate nearby was wiping at his own sweat while looking around when suddenly his eyes lit up. He nudged Ran Ningmu with his elbow and pursed his lips to signal at him to look in the opposite direction.

“School grass, look,” he said with an obscene smile. “A girl over there is peeping at you ei!”

He deliberately raised his voice as he spoke and did not mean to conceal it at all. At once, all the nearby boys in the area around him turned to look at the girl.

Ran Ningmu caught a glimpse of the girl’s red face, frowned, and responded irritably “En”.

The boy’s eyes trailed the girl’s chest and shook his head regretfully: “The girl’s looks are okay but her figure is completely unmentionable.”

The girl’s face paled instantly before she lowered her head, looking like she was about to cry.

Ran Ningmu’s fingertips gripped the water bottle for a while. Talking about girls like that….It’s excessive.

The boy didn’t seem to notice, his eyes glued to the slender waists of the girls around him, highlighted by the belts they were wearing, and tsked: “This year there are quite a lot of beautiful girls in our class, so lucky! How about it, school grass? Is there anyone you like?”

“No.”

“That can’t be ba, you don’t like any of them? Your eyes are looking too high ba, but it’s also true that with a face like yours, just with the wave of one hand, there will be a lot of high quality girls who will take the bait by themselves hahaha…..”

Ran Ningmu suddenly raised his arm, hooked his hand in the standard shooting posture, and threw the empty water bottle precisely into the trash can not far away.

Bang! The boy’s obscene words were interrupted.

Ran Ningmu turned to look at him, the corners of his mouth curved, and his white teeth were bared by his grin: “Why are you so concerned with my marriage prospects ah? What, you want to be my mother ah?”

The boy’s face complexion changed: “You…what did you say?”

Ran Ningmu scrutinised the boy with the eyes of somebody who was picking out pork at the vegetable market and nitpicked: “My apologies ah, I don’t want a guy for a mother, especially one with such a dreadful appearance.”

“You—！”

Laughter erupted all around. The boy’s face suddenly turned blue and then white, and he wanted to rush up to Ran Ningmu with his fist.

Ran Ningmu’s eyes suddenly darkened. He slowly straightened his back and deliberately moved his neck and fingers, making them click in a way that made one’s hair straighten from fright.

“What,” he sneered, “want to fight?”

The boy looked up at Ran Ningmu’s eyes and instantly froze in place. With Ran Ningmu’s height of nearly 190cm, the boy standing in front of him was like a thin and weak little chick.

How to even fight this? The other party can pick him up like a discus with one arm and fling him directly into the sun ba?!

The girls were already quietly giggling and snickering behind their hands.

The boy’s face instantly turned as dark as coal but then he caught a glimpse of Ran Ningmu’s strong chest and firm arms and suddenly his arrogance could not be afforded to ignite.

Ran Ningmu instantly moved away from him and walked up to the girl before scratching at his head and softly speaking: “I’m sorry ah, you heard such nonsense just now so you shouldn’t take it to heart.”

“Pfft” the girl pursed her lips as she laughed before lifting her eyes to thank him sincerely: “Thank you”

“There’s no need for thanks. It was originally my pot so don’t mind it too much.” Ran Ningmu waved his hand indifferently and turned to leave.

The girl stared at his back for a few seconds, turned her head and whispered excitedly with her companion: “I never expected that Ran Ningmu would have such a milky appearance but his real temperament is unexpectedly so wild!”

“Exactly, exactly ah, so handsome oh,he had such a little wolf dog feel just now, he he….”[39]

Ran Ningmu returned to his position and stood still, the originally not so good mood was made even more depressing by that obscene boy from before. The moral degeneration of the world is getting worse day by day, public morality is not what it used to be and confidently average greasy stinking[40] men are becoming more and more common. If only there were refreshing and cool boys to wash the eyes with….

Just then, Ran Ningmu inadvertently raised his eyes and saw a young man in a white shirt walking slowly. In summer, the sun is very strong, burning the skin like a flame and inevitably invites people’s annoyance. However, the arrival of the youth on the other side was like a gust of wind which suddenly completely dispersed the hot vapour enveloping people’s mouth and nose, making one feel refreshed and in a good mood.

The youth was elegant and tall and had the temperament of an outstanding elegant and beautiful person[41] as he walked quietly down the forest path surrounded by wutong trees[42]. The sunlight shone down on him through the leaves, casting bright spots and shadows all over his face, and, from that distance, Ran Ningmu could only catch a glimpse of his fair skin, as beautiful as a painting.

‘R-refreshing and cool boy?’ Ran Ningmu immediately became crazy.

On the other side, An Youxi walked slowly into the shade of a wutong tree, and, without being aware that he was being observed by a certain large dog, took out the camera and held it in front of himself. ‘Hmph, let me see which great general dared to snatch away my school grass throne….‘

In the camera shot, the boy in the camouflage military training uniform stood tall and straight, with wide shoulders and long legs. The eyebrows are thick and black like a knife, the folds of the double eyelids are as beautiful as if they were drawn with a pen, and the dense eyelashes are delicate and clearly defined under the high-definition lens and the warm sunlight Under the lens, the pair of eyes were black and illuminated as they looked at him intently, completely absorbed. The eyes were clear and bright, like gentle lake water, and there seemed to be some delicate and sensitive thoughts in them that could not be clearly explained. Such a clean and innocent appearance, like a little milk dog seeing his owner for the first time???

An Youxi’s fingertips shook and he pressed down on the shutter almost reflexively. There was a soft noise. Ran Ningmu’s bright starry eyes bathing in the sunlight were captured by the camera. And his eyes were full of An Youxi’s reflection.

It was the moment of heartbeat. [43]

An Youxi was slightly stunned, looked up suddenly, and then fell into the other party’s black eyes which were full of brilliance.

At the same time, Ran Ningmu looked at the beautiful face of the young man in white, and his thoughts fell into a brief daze.

And in their minds, tacitly appeared a thought that went against all the heavenly laws of morality and filial love, but was just as pleasurable and appealing, it was the wonderful philosophical thought of the great harmony of life——

Ran Ningmu: ‘Cute, I want to fuck him.’

An Youxi: ‘Cute, I want to be fucked by him.’

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Ai – interjection, sighing, expressing disappointment (like ‘alas’) back
Ma – expresses sth is obvious and gives advice or expresses hope back
Ah – used to enhance the tone/feeling, draw attention to a word or soften the feeling/suggestion back
Ei – expletive of surprise back
Oh – expresses affirmation, speechlessness, or sarcasm. Baidu defines it as particularly emotionless and similar to a sneer similar to a sneer back
Ba – suggestion, asks for agreement or confirmation back
Aiya – used to express dismay, exasperation, or surprise back
La – indicates excitement/doubt. Also quite cutesy back
His name is actually Qingtian 擎天 which literally means to be powerful, strong and great, capable to hold up the sky. Amusingly it is also the part of the name for the transformer Optimus Prime (擎天柱). Since this is his online nickname, I decided to call him Atlas (who is the titan holding up the sky in Greek mythology) because calling him Optimus sounds very strange. back
Xiao Qiao – cannot tell whether this is his full in-game name or just a nickname but the name is 小乔 where 小 is ‘little’ and often used as endearment, and 乔 means tall or towering when describing trees but can also be used to mean evil, strange, bad, impersonation or deceit. I have left it as Xiao Qiao because the meaning is too loaded and appropriate (well except the tall part maybe lol) back
社团群里潜水 (lit. diving) refers to sitting in a group chat and reading the messages (and grabbing WeChat red packets) but never saying anything. In English this is called lurking. back
简直了 – an expression where you dont know what to say, used to express inexplicable overabundant feeling (frustration, surprise, amazement, thinking sb is stupid etc etc) back
VA stands for voice actor. CN text keeps calling this CV and I have no idea what it stands for but VA is a genuine term/abbreviation in English back
萌 – pronounced ‘meng’ in chinese and ‘moe’ in japanese. It’s a very specific meaning of ‘ cute’ in the sense it expresses affection. For more info, lookup 萌 or the term moe back
Voice con – the ‘con’ part is a loan word from Japanese short for ‘complex’ meaning the person likes sth very much to a ridiculous degree. In this case the name of the app has double meaning since 声控 means both ‘voice control / sound activation’ and ‘voicecon’. back
Selling rot – gay baiting, engaging in homosexual innuendos for the entertainment of the public. Gay fanservice. back
if we can get along – great, if not – oh well (比赛完了能处就处，不能处就算了) another translator helped with this. back
普信男 – (according to Baidu) refers to men who are mediocre in appearance, income, speech, and literacy, but who have unrealistically high judgments about themselves, have particularly high requirements for their potential partners, and are fascinated and confident, often criticising the other’s shortcomings to show their superiority. I translated it as ‘confidently average’ because calling him an incel feels too western of a term back
上次这么无语还是上次 – an online meme/slang derived from nonsense literature. It means you are so speechless that you’re speechless about how speechless you are.back
Original actually says [Can your plays be as small as your chirps.jpg] but given An Youxi’s character (and the lack of meme about chirps) I’ve chosen to translate chirps as pp since chirp (唧) and chicken (鸡) are homonyms 鸡鸡 is a childish way of saying penis. The original meme seems to be referring to Pay2Win players in online games (Can your plays be as little as your money). Example of the meme given at the end of the list below back
Yin Yang – online slang with a similar meaning to ‘subtweeting’. Aka speaking about somebody in an indirect way so as to look down on them and make them feel patronised. back
眼花缭乱 – an idiom which means that the eyes are confused from seeing something complicated. Idk how to translate the punchiness of the idiom so I just made something up from most of the singular meaning of the characters. back
什么叫好了又掰了 – no clue what that means here, so I just did my best to translate it based on the assumption that MC feels aggrieved over winning the contest and immediately getting his CP broken up. back
说话油 – normally of a guy: speaking in a way that is insincere or gives off a greasy feeling. Dishonestly provoking good feelings or attempting to adjust the atmosphere. Sleazy. back
小奶狗 refers to boys who are young, clingy, cute and sunny back
School grass is the most handsome boy in the school/faculty back
霓虹深处 is the CN name, apparently it’s the name of a song back
妥妥的年下 where 妥妥 is is ‘steadily’ or ‘comfortably’ and 年下 is slang for younger gong. Another translator helped with this one. back
世事无常 – a saying with two meanings: 1. people in the world are impermanent, which means that people are unpredictable, 2. things in the world are impermanent. Mao Zedong spoke about the meanings so if you are interested you can baidu it back
新闻部部长 – means the head of the information ministry so I think they are referring to the president of some society and given Xia Qianqian’s position in the photography club… back
Bao means treasure and normally I would translate this but I will need for people to recognise it later in baobei and baobao so I am leaving it as it is back
垂死病中惊坐起 a phrase which I translated literally as it was originated from a poem I haven’t read and could not find the translation of. The poem’s name is 《闻乐天授江州司马》My understanding is that the phrase in the poem is used to express shock and sadness beyond words (likely mixed with the protagonist’s unwillingness to reconcile with the fact that he was dying from sickness and couldn’t do anything to help his demoted friend for whom he held deep affection) back
疯球了 – literally crazy ball. Apparently Sichuan slang that means something is so crazy that the whole world has been driven fucking crazy. Losing your marbles is a synonym for crazy in english so I tried to keep the ball/rolling meaning. back
英俊爽朗大帅 – I cried while looking up all the different handsome descriptors back
QQ’s version of News/Moments back
好家伙，你就是在这等着我的吧 where 好家伙 means Goodfellas (or in this case, good fella). Yes, the gangster movie about the mafia. back
Little big brother (literal tl), used when addressing a boy when you don’t know if he is older or younger. Respectful but can be flirty depending on tone back
一场军姿下来能把人给站废了 back
嘿嘿 – type of cunning laughter. Funnily enough in the raws she actually says it 3 times, which would normally have the meaning of ‘sexual relationship between two people’ but I don’t think she means it that way so I have left it as he he instead of he he he because I think she means in the double meaning. back
臭男人 – smelly/stinking man is like a scum man but not like actual scum just kind of a jerk. There is a whole song about it and the singer was inspired by the “Men aren’t bad, women don’t love” saying. back
隽秀 – it’s a specific style description back
A type of ornamental tree, also known as Chinese parasol tree. Its wood is used in the production of guqin guzheng (image available below) back
Basically the moment of their heart going doki doki. Also the reason behind the chapter name. back

Flowers Blossoming In Winter

Category: IPGYPPP

Chapter 5: Squats

Translation Notes:

1) A superstition that if you are a virgin by the time you hit 30 then on your 30th birthday you will get the ability to read minds. (the Japanese BL Cherry Magic is based around that) back

2) 清凌凌 – lit. clear with light ripples back

5) Arrogant way of saying “I” back

6) 宝 – bao, lit. treasure, an affectionate term (pretty sure same bao as in baobei), here it is used jokingly so I’ve translated it but I might leave it as is in the feature. back

7) 宝 (treasure/darling) vs 抱 (embrace/hold) both pronounced bao (different tone) back

8) People who love gossip. Eating melons = partaking in gossip. back

9) 磨磨唧唧 – momojiji means to dilly-dally, take your time with nothing but mo can mean rub/grind and ji means to spurt/shoot and considering they are joking about him being a man (and knowing the author’s style) I assumed it was a dick joke. back

10) Implying “Fuck your mom”, very common insult. back

14) 大哥 – normally means eldest brother but here it is used mockingly so I’ve italicised it to keep the meaning back

Chapter 4: Forum

1) As said before in Chinese, forum posts are called buildings with the OP often called the Floor Owner/Building Owner/ Building Owner. In this case, Main Building just means the forum post that OP made. Further down the replies would be referred to as First Floor (1L), 2nd Floor (2L) etc back

2) Short for 如題, meaning “nothing else to say”, “as title says”. There isn’t a short equivalent in english (that I know) so I will be leaving it as RT back

3) 呃 – sound of affirmation/nodding/etc back

5) Not literally, it’s just a way for a person to say that they really like something. back

6) An emoticon in CN platforms. It’s like a tone indicator like /j or the eyes emoji (Image available below) It can be used to denote that something is a joke and also that there is an ambiguous meaning. back

7) 针不戳 – slang meaning that something is really really good back

8) 酸菜 – traditional Chinese pickled Chinese cabbage or Chinese mustard, used for a variety of purposes. It has a refreshing sour flavour that really helps offset heavier flavour profiles. back

12) 腐女 – fujoshi, women who like BL back

14) 浑水摸鱼 – acquire profit in time of trouble back

15) 乖巧坐等 – Another picture meme, example available below back

16) 瞎说什么大实话 – idiom meaning you tell the truth but it is the kind that others don’t mind. Can be considered a joke. back

17) 泼出去的儿子嫁出去的水 – a play on 嫁出去的女儿泼出去的水 (lit. married daughter, spilled water) which means that once a daughter has been married then it is like water has been spilt and (her) parents cannot intervene. back

18) 月老 aka ‘old man under the moon’ is a god of marriage and love in Chinese mythology back

19) 怀春 – begin to think of love, or become sexually awakened ; be in love back

20) 不开窍则已，一开窍惊人啊这是！based on the 不鸣则已，一鸣惊人 phrase from footnote 11 but with 开窍 meaning enlightenment (about love) so I just did my best. back

Chapter 3: Sharing a Meal

Chapter 2: Invitation

Chapter 1: Heartbeat